I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
