im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize