Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
