so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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