Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Randomize
