A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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