The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
