He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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