hell yes lets make some ravioli
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
