Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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