I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
