She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
