Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
