I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I had to cum in my sink.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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