have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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