lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She told me I should be a condom model.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I sprained my soul last night
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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