I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
