So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
