where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I think my fart just growled at me.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
