the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
