The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
