You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
