ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize