I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
