I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
