So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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