doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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