At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize