Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
