CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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