My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
sex in a hospital.. check
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
