Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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