Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
