JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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