How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
