Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
she told me i tasted like america
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
