I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
