Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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