Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
