Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
