you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
