is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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