I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Can I color on your dick again?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
