She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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