On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
This girl is more easily done than said...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
This house was built for laser tag.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
