Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
