one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
im holly from the hills drunk
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
