So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
