I checked into jail on foursquare
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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