you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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