he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Randomize
