wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
