he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize