Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize