wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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