Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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