if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
