i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
she woke up with a sticky ear
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
