Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
