Don't you send me to vm
Just cropdusted the office
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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