I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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