It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You need a sexual gate keeper
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
