5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My underwear smells like fireworks.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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