Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
