3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
