She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
