this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
