We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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