I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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