we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
